My Warning to Wives

Today, I am writing from my heart hoping to reach yours.

I am seeking an opening through the pride and false confidence many wives used to make your marriage look good to you and to others. My grave concern rises because, you may not even know you are doing this. Today, I am sending a warning!
 
If you have already stopped reading because you say to yourself "this is not for me". Please pray and make sure you are right. The truth is your husband may be backing his heart and mind away from you.

He may want to flee the marriage!

Watch my video, receive the warning, learn what to look for, and how you can handle it.
 
I recognize how many of you focus on me when I teach. You have said, "That is horrible for you Lisa but my husband would never do that." Take note, my marriage has already been to "hell" and back. I speak and teach to help keep yours from going. 

This video warning came to me while I prayed for Wives On Purpose. It serves as one simple was to reach you! 

May your heart be touched as God deems fit. 

With the love of Christ,
Lisa

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The Other Woman!

Why He listens to the “other woman”

By Lisa Ellis Williams

Have you ever wondered why many wives express difficulty communicating with their husbands in a way that moves him to action? “Honey, will you take out the trash?” can easily be met by a long sigh followed by “in a minute”.  Minutes give way to hours and sometimes days as the wife waits for task completion. Over time her repeated requests for help with housework, reviewing kid’s homework, and even keeping date night appointments can become a source of conflict or lead to disagreement. Since when did talking to him get so complicated?    

 

Over the years, I noticed that my husband often responded differently to the requests of “other women”. His mother called to ask his advice on purchasing a car. He immediately began to research cars and compare prices. My mother called and asked him to repair something in her house. He was there in a few days to work. 

These “other women” got an instant response from my husband! More recently I have coached wives who have endured adultery in their marriage and noticed this complaint “the other woman” was able to steal him away.  What is it about the “other woman” that draws husbands to listen? How do other women get them to "do stuff"? 

With her enticing speech she caused him to yield. With her flattering lips she seduced him.  Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter or as a fool to the correction of the stocks.  (Proverbs 7:21-22 NKJV)


Wives, we must change the way we speak to our husbands if we desire positive results. If the “other woman” is able to captivate a man with her words and move him to follow her requests, then wives might spur action by adopting a few of her strategies. 

Here is what I have learned:  

Using enticing speech and persuasive words when describing your request may  cause him to yield or to let you talk first. I am not suggesting that you attempt to manipulate your husband into doing crazy stuff. The spirit of the verse suggests that you give detailed information when asking for something and make it appealing or enticing. Tell him the benefits of doing the thing. 

My mother in law described the sleek sporty car she was interested in and the high priced dealer she had already consulted.  Such details were enough to entice him to help her find that car at a great price.   


Let flattering lips be an asset that will seduce him. I don’t see anything wrong with a wife who chooses to compliment and flatter her husband! Again, I am not encouraging you to lie or say things that are not true just because you want something. 

Use character and wisdom by selecting words that build his self -esteem and let him know the positive traits you see in him. My mother in law always lets my husband know how much she relies on him to negotiate purchase price for her because he is so good at it! Who says flattery will get you nowhere?   


These two strategies for making requests are most likely to get immediate action according to the writer of Proverbs. Not only will your husband come after you, but he will follow you without hesitation or question. That sounds good to me. 

I no longer have to ask why he listens to the “other woman.” You don't either. Try these tools and begin speaking so he will listen to you.

Copyright © 2012 Lisa Ellis Williams

How do you get your husband to listen?
Comment below

This article appeared in Mitera magazine summer issue. If you want to enjoy my articles and other great resources for Moms, Mitera is available by free subscription.  It only publishes 4 times a year so you won't get more issues than you want to read. 


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Weekend Inspiration

Hi All, 

When you feel a bit unsure of yourself as a wife.... 

You have got to view this inspiring video by one of my coaches, Beckie Harmon. 

She gets to the core of real matters. 

Use this information to help bring your marriage out of victim thinking today!  

Enjoy. 

Luv to you all,
Lisa

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Lisa's Tips for Successful Marriage

Tips for "Wives On Purpose" 

• Instead of pondering sinful thoughts, confess them to God and then to your husband 

• Release guilt and accept God's forgiveness

Lisa Ellis Williams, Wife School Using God's Word to build a stronger marriage

Tips are not always new  information but rather a helpful reminder.

Please share your thoughts . 

Has this tip helped you? 

When was the last time you had to ask your husband for forgiveness?

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I'm sorry

Tell Him you’re sorry

By Lisa Ellis Williams

Why is it so hard to apologize? 

I have a friend who reflects on each day before going to sleep at night. She shared her process with me several years ago.  Once she is ready for bed, she stills her body and closes her eyes. Her mind is focused and she prays. During this quiet time, her mind replays like a motion picture the events of her day. At critical points she notices and evaluates her words and actions. She asks God some questions.  What could she have done better? How could she have avoided that problem? She also recognizes positive outcomes. Things she did well.    

My friend uses this process to be accountable to God, to follow His commands, and to live a righteous life. During this quiet time, she allows the Holy Spirit inside of her to reveal any sin, (the small things that she has done in the course of the day that God didn’t like.) Once she recognizes her mistakes then she tells God she is sorry.  

I have learned to practice this process. I highly recommend that you follow such a wise example. Why? Because it really can be hard to admit mistakes and tell God “I’m sorry”. 

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9 NKJV

I have identified a few reasons why saying “I’m sorry” may be difficult and require practice.

• §  We don’t recognize the little things we have done wrong 

• §  We fail to assess our actions after the emotions of the moment have subsided

• §  Our logical minds convince us that we are right

• §  Sleep prevails at night leaving no time for reflection

The only way to keep being cleansed from all unrighteousness is to keep admitting our mistakes and asking for forgiveness.  

This same process can be applied to your marriage. If you take time to reflect on your relationship with your husband, God will show you things that you have done wrong. You can pray and ask God questions.  Let Him show you how you could have handled things differently or avoided a conflict. God will also reveal solutions to problems and by confessing your sin He will forgive you and cleanse you! That is good news and a reason to sleep peacefully (with your husband) at night. 

Learn to tell God you are sorry for the things that break His heart. The process will make it easier to tell your husband when you have broken his. Take a moment to reflect now and when you are done… admit your mistake. Apologize. Go ahead… 

Tell him, “you’re sorry.”  

Now it's your turn: 

What stops you from admitting mistakes? 

Is it easier to apologize to others than to God? 

What about your husband? 

Do you have a process that helps?

Please share your comments and this article if it helped. 

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Do Over

I am so excited about this new blog! 


For those who have been with me since my blogging journey began, you will remember my first blog with the purple background. I thought is was beautiful but it was also easy to use. I wrote to you at least 3 times a week back then. 

After a while, a new blog platform became popular so I switched. I got really good at the using that one. I even had things popping up on the screen. Well, I moved on from that one when I got my website done over last January. It has been down hill ever since. Letters would print double, bullets would show up in strange places, html code would appear in the post that I did not insert and worse, it had NO spell check. These things made writing to you so hard. I was so frustrated and finally I stopped to look for a solution. 

I prayed, Lord, please help! His answer came in the form of a "Do Over" 

I contacted my website developer (Room 18:16.com if you ever need a good one for a reasonable price). They agreed to merge this new blog into my current new website. Can you say second chance? I got a "do over." I am back to my original blogger platform only this time, no purple!

I love the look and feel of this space and hope you will visit often. I plan to write you frequently and share all kinds of neat stuff. In the mean time, Join me on social media, or look at the video. All things Wives On Purpose continues to warm my heart. I luv seeing you happy in your marriage. 

If you are a blogger, grab a button and show off your Wives On Purpose marriage pride. After all you are a very good thing! don't forget that you can go back to my website from here just by clicking on my name at the tab "Lisa Ellis Williams". You can even order a signed copy of Wife School, using God's Word to build a stronger marriage from there. 

So for my new blogger friends, here are a few things you may like to know about me:     

1. My favorite hot drink is coffee with lots of cream and sugar.
2. I find peace in a rocking chair or the playground swings
3. I laugh a lot. Most things are that serious
4. I looks for God in nature to remind myself that He is bigger than I am
5. I believe in a good education
6. My favorite movie is “An Officer and A Gentleman”
7. My husband used to be a “DJ” and he still plays music for me
8. “Any” beach is my favorite vacation spot
9. I know that God gives “do overs”
10. My favorite people in the entire world are Stuart and our children 

Now what are some special things about you?

What makes you a Wife On Purpose? 

How do you like the new blog?

Share your comments below. 

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