The Other Woman!

Why He listens to the “other woman”

By Lisa Ellis Williams

Have you ever wondered why many wives express difficulty communicating with their husbands in a way that moves him to action? “Honey, will you take out the trash?” can easily be met by a long sigh followed by “in a minute”.  Minutes give way to hours and sometimes days as the wife waits for task completion. Over time her repeated requests for help with housework, reviewing kid’s homework, and even keeping date night appointments can become a source of conflict or lead to disagreement. Since when did talking to him get so complicated?    

 

Over the years, I noticed that my husband often responded differently to the requests of “other women”. His mother called to ask his advice on purchasing a car. He immediately began to research cars and compare prices. My mother called and asked him to repair something in her house. He was there in a few days to work. 

These “other women” got an instant response from my husband! More recently I have coached wives who have endured adultery in their marriage and noticed this complaint “the other woman” was able to steal him away.  What is it about the “other woman” that draws husbands to listen? How do other women get them to "do stuff"? 

With her enticing speech she caused him to yield. With her flattering lips she seduced him.  Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter or as a fool to the correction of the stocks.  (Proverbs 7:21-22 NKJV)


Wives, we must change the way we speak to our husbands if we desire positive results. If the “other woman” is able to captivate a man with her words and move him to follow her requests, then wives might spur action by adopting a few of her strategies. 

Here is what I have learned:  

Using enticing speech and persuasive words when describing your request may  cause him to yield or to let you talk first. I am not suggesting that you attempt to manipulate your husband into doing crazy stuff. The spirit of the verse suggests that you give detailed information when asking for something and make it appealing or enticing. Tell him the benefits of doing the thing. 

My mother in law described the sleek sporty car she was interested in and the high priced dealer she had already consulted.  Such details were enough to entice him to help her find that car at a great price.   


Let flattering lips be an asset that will seduce him. I don’t see anything wrong with a wife who chooses to compliment and flatter her husband! Again, I am not encouraging you to lie or say things that are not true just because you want something. 

Use character and wisdom by selecting words that build his self -esteem and let him know the positive traits you see in him. My mother in law always lets my husband know how much she relies on him to negotiate purchase price for her because he is so good at it! Who says flattery will get you nowhere?   


These two strategies for making requests are most likely to get immediate action according to the writer of Proverbs. Not only will your husband come after you, but he will follow you without hesitation or question. That sounds good to me. 

I no longer have to ask why he listens to the “other woman.” You don't either. Try these tools and begin speaking so he will listen to you.

Copyright © 2012 Lisa Ellis Williams

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This article appeared in Mitera magazine summer issue. If you want to enjoy my articles and other great resources for Moms, Mitera is available by free subscription.  It only publishes 4 times a year so you won't get more issues than you want to read. 


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