Avoid marriage shut down

It's hard to believe that was September when I wrote the last "News Wives Can Use.News Wives Can Use In a short time the weather has become stormy and cold and the federal government has shut down! While I expect fall weather in October, I can honestly say I never expected the United States Federal Government to be rendered inoperable because two sides cannot agree.

I am reminded that marriages often shut down for the same reason. Husband and wife cannot agree. Sound familiar? If so, ask yourself how do you handle conflict?

• Do you stop serving your husband and family because he won’t give in to your desires?
• Do you overlook the many other family members and friends who suffer because you and your husband are at odds?
• Have you stopped to consider how your marriage looks to the outside world when conflict goes unresolved for days or even weeks?

Well, unlike our government the Bible gives very real and clear instructions for how to handle conflict when compromise escapes us. To avoid total marriage shut down, God has made provisions for husband and wife to find resolutions in even the most difficult situations if we are willing to follow His direction. Hold on to your seats as we consult Ephesians 5:22-24 where these words are recorded:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (NIV)

How about that? If we just submit or follow our husbands lead even when we don’t agree then we can avoid complete shut down in our marriage. Only God would ask us to seemingly give in to pretty crazy sounding ideas but I admit that His thoughts and ways are higher than mine. I understand if many of you don’t like this verse or solution to "stand offs." I get the media impression that Congress and the American people find it difficult too. I also get a distinct feeling that our President finds himself in a unique position as well. No one seems to be smiling when they don’t get their way. The good news is that instances where such complete disagreement happen in marriage are as rare as a complete federal government shut down in the United States.

The difference is that Christian wives are called to follow God’s instructions. The Bible serves as our policy and life governing law. If we view them as non-negotiable then we have the privilege of confidently holding God responsible for what happens to us after we submit.

I have practiced this principle for many years now. It is not always easy but always worth it. Obedience to God is better than sacrifice in my life. When my husband and I come to a complete stand still on an issue, instead of insisting that I get my way, I submit to working his plan or trying his idea. As we slowly move forward, we negotiate line items without hostility and find resolution faster. A byproduct of agreement in marriage is new respect, new love and admiration on both sides of the aisle. Working together as one flesh enables husbands and wives to do what is best for those under their care and influence. 

God's way works for me. It should work for you. I can only hope that our government leaders will find a strategy to work for them. Join me and pray for conflict resolution… and fast!
Until then, I'll be

Ministering to marriages, one wife at a time,
Lisa Ellis Williams