How funny it was to hear the words, "Lisa, you were right."
That comment came at the end of a conversation with one of my long term Wives On Purpose. She had described an incident where a newly wed wife had messed up and now this seasoned Wife On Purpose had the painful responsibility of telling her "she is wrong."
When I first began speaking to married women, I was often accused of taking the husband's side. I quickly explained that I was not here to side with anyone but God. Using His Word as a measuring stick would keep us on the righteous side of married. What does that mean to you and this newly wed wife?
It means, consider the long term implications of your short term actions!
When your husband takes an action that you don't like, that is not permission to take an equally harmful action in response. He leaves the house mad so you leave mad too. You both stay out very late trying to out stay the other. He over spends the budget so you head for the mall. Wives this kind of reaction is off purpose and you are wrong when you behave like this.
A simple conversation usually reveals the wife is suffering from hurt feelings. Listen new wives, your husband loves you but, he is only human. He will hurt your feelings from time to time. Wives On Purpose say "Amen!"
When your feelings are hurt, I offer these tips to keep from acting off purpose and just plain WRONG:
- Do Not seek to retaliate.
- Be honest with yourself and admit how you feel.
- Craft a few sentences describing your dilemma in a journal.
- Find the appropriate time to share your feelings with your husband.
- Tell him how you feel without yelling, calling names, or accusing him of being a bad husband
- Agree on a future course of action that will yield a different result
Proverbs 31:11-12 (ESV) says: The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Ladies, I know this is not easy but God's way is always right. I am just here to share it with you. I hope this helps all of you as you strive to build stronger marriages and help the newly weds long the way.
I am adding extra help by gifting each of you the Wife School Lesson #1 Free!
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How do you respond to the wife who is wrong?
What scriptures do you point her to?
Helping you stay married On Purpose
Lisa Ellis Williams
Thank you for your wise words, Lisa. I just finished reading a brand new book that aligns so well with what you're saying. It's about effectively influencing our marriages in a positive way by changing what we can - ourselves - our attitudes, actions, decision, priorities and words; honoring, nourishing, communicating, etc. It's called "The Wholehearted Wife: 10 Keys to a More Loving Relationship," by Erin, Greg and Gary Smalley. Biblical, inspirational, affirming. One of my favorite quotes is, "When we turn to God for help, he fills us with his love and enables us to see ourselves and our husbands through his eyes. Keep in mind that a wholehearted wife focuses first on her own heart!" I highly recommend it! http://www.tyndale.com/The-Wholehearted-Wife/9781624051463#.U6upS14Q7wI
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